A Stream Of Teenage Nonsense
by Ursula Burgfist
There’s a gentle new girl in Maiden Valley and she has everybody talking. Stunningly tall and devastatingly strange, all the girls want her. However, Shannon Novak has a secret – She’s a Velcro witch corpse.
Emily Woods is an obnoxious, dirty girl who enjoys eating midnight lipstick. She becomes fascinated by Shannon who can stop Aids with her bare hands. She doesn’t understand why she’s so unsociable.
Her best friend, a happy gay electro fool called Dr. Teeth, helps Emily begin to piece together the mystery. Together, they discover the obscure secret of the Vagina Maze.
When odd shaped seaweed starts turning up all over Maiden Valley, Emily begins to fear the worst. The gay electro fool urges her to report Shannon to the Village Corpse Society and she knows she should, so what’s stopping her?
She may resist Shannon’s sanctuary muffin, but can she resist her bizarre fluid hole?
Will she be caught kissing with the Velcro witch corpse?
“Bursting with originality. A dirty girl falling for a tall Velcro witch corpse has simply never been done before.”
- The Daily Sketch
“As subtle as a skeleton wanking in a biscuit tin, but the Vagina Maze does deliver an important message about the need for more Village Corpse Societies.”
- Fruity Metcalf
“This must be based on a true story, you couldn’t make this stuff up!”
- Fetus Candy Webzine
“This author really boils my piss!! An auto plot-generator could do a better job!!! “
- Merlin Waterstone