DIRT

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Imagined Film Blurb

Woman, children in bath. Fancy dress, costumes characters in background.

Mabby Congress, a single mother of three. Whilst on holiday in California, Mabby shoots a sailor named Frank. His mother, Betsy vows to avenge her son’s murder. She tracks down Mabby to a pilchard farm just outside LA. However, Betsy is instantly enchanted by Mabby’s beautiful silky skin and is unable to kill her. The two soon fall in love.

Mabby convinces Betsy to undergo hyper duralink stretch surgery. However, the treatment goes horribly wrong. Betsy soon discovers she has an insatiable appetite for child flesh boiled in pornographic jazz butter. Fearing the worse, Mabby and the children head to a secret synagogue in Afghanistan.

At the airport Mabby bumps into Timmy Tasscar, his hirsute wife Tam Tam and the ghost of legendary film star, Chicken Edward. All three find themselves bewitched by Mabby’s beautiful silky skin. Without hesitation they agree to make Mabby an offer. …An offer which will change the course of world history – forever!

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